It's Marriage Week over on my socials this week!
I am super passionate about couples doing marriage well, and I strongly believe the relationship between the parents in the family is the key to a connected family.
To say it even clearer...
I believe that the health and connectedness of your relationship as parents can be your parenting superpower! Here are some reasons why a healthy marriage makes a big impact on your family: Stability and Security Having two parents that love each other helps children feel safe and comfortable. The world can be unstable and chaotic and if the parents' relationship is unstable and chaotic too, kids will see and feel that, and may act out because of the insecurity they feel. Role Modeling Healthy Relationships Growing up in a family is pretty much the training ground for life. This is where kids learn from you and each other. Seeing their parents model what it's like to be in a healthy relationship is a huge help for them when they are considering their own relationships in the future. How does Dad treat mum? How should I treat women? How do Mum and Dad deal with conflict? Do they apologize? Do they treat each other with respect and value each others opinion? How does Mum treat Dad? What sort of Woman or Man am I looking for in a long-term mate? Being On The Same Page Being in a healthy relationship as parents will help provide a united front as you parent on the same page. Kids will KNOW when mum and dad are fighting and can easily use that knowledge to play one off against the other to get their way. When coming up with a parenting difficulty, a connected couple can work together to make a plan on how they will parent their children together, so it's not always a 'good cop - bad cop' situation. Sharing the Load A connected couple will have open lines of communication. This means if someone needs a break because they are feeling burnt out, they can turn to their partner and let them know. The partner can take over and share the load so that the emotional burnout doesn't affect the kids and this will bring an over all peace and calm to the house.
You might be thinking to yourself that that sounds all nice and good, but how do I even get to a place where I would call my marriage connected? I met my husband when I was 18, he was 17. I was 21 when we got married. We had a couple of years together before we started our family and now our youngest is 6. These years we have been together have by no means been easy. We have had a lot of fun, but also times where the frustration and anger would go on for weeks. We have gone through financial struggles, mental health struggles and definitely parenting struggles. But we decided 3 things when we got married: 1. To never give up - divorce is not on the table 2. To work on our marriage to make it awesome 3. To be a team It's about changing one small thing, one habit at a time to grow into something that you can be proud of in the long run!
This is us goofing around at my brother's engagement party sans kids.
Here are my Top 3 Tips to help you take a step towards a healthier more connected relationship.
1. Communicate, communicate, communicate. Make time to talk, everyday. Just to catch up with what's been happening in each other's days.
2. Date Nights. These aren't nights out for us at the moment, so I am referring to at home date nights. 2 nights per week minimum is what we go with. One night is a face time night where we will have dinner (once the kids are in bed), talk, play a game, etc. Do things that help us communicate and connect. The other night is usually a movie night.
3. Make a commitment to have a functional conversation when there is a conflict. Pick a time that works for both of you, I suggest not late at night! It is easy to let our emotions get the best of us in times where our feelings are strong. But if we allow our anger to escalate, it is easier to damage the relationship.
I would love to hear your top 3 things that make your marriage great!
Let me know,
Nina x
