Hey Mums, why is it so hard to take care of ourselves? Does motherhood really have the power to make us this self-less? But even more so, why does the pendulum swing so much the other direction?
Pre-kids we were making decision that suited us, doing things that refreshed us, things that brought us joy, but when the kids started coming along, instead of looking after ourselves and now ALSO our kids, we put ALL our energy and passion into the small people we love so much and left nothing for ourselves.
In doing that, we have done ourselves, and sad to say our families, a disservice. But hurray, it is definitely NEVER too late to change and grow and show our families the importance of looking after ourselves.
This isn’t your average self-care list. It’s not going to include taking a breath or drinking more water, because you already.know.all.that.anyway!
This list may challenge you… And I kinda hope so!
Recognise your own value in your family and in the lives of your children. If you work in a decent workplace, in a workplace that is cutting edge and forward thinking, the employees’ well-being and mental health is of utmost importance. Management recognises that looking after its employees actually benefits their bottom line, because healthy people are passionate people, people who give back and who work hard.
Basically, if you want to be passionate, excited to be a mum and to give your best (not your most), you need to really believe that you matter, your time matters and that you are incredibly valuable in the lives of your children. If you believe that, you will want to look after yourself more!
Prioritise! This is the next step once you recognise your worth. Make a list of the most important things in your life from most important to least important. For example you might include, work, marriage, friends, family, money, travel, extended family and so on, don’t forget you on that list - you’ve got to look after management!
You may have to stop and think, because what your priorities looked like before you started valuing yourself will look different to what they will look like now that you do.
Choose you! Self-care can be the little things, the things you can squeeze in, but it can also be the bigger things. Sure, get your nails done, go for a walk in nature, grab a coffee with a friend, but how often do you do these things instead of something that needs to be done because #mumlife?
It means that sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes when you have to choose between two things, choose you. Because remember - when you choose you, you are choosing to invest in your well-being, and that has positive long term effects on those you love too! This may be the hardest step to take. It goes against our selfless nature as mothers and can increase our mum guilt!
Delegate. How often do you take time for yourself only to come back and have to work extra hard to catch up? I hate that! I mean it’s not fair to assume everything that we look after can be delegated (because we rock), but depending on the ages of your children (and of course your partner), it is ok for you to ask and expect them to pick up the slack a little while you head off on a girls trip. I mean how often do you do that for them? All the time, right?!
And lastly, the most practical thing of all plan it in. Taking into account all previous steps, make a self-care list. Put in the things that you can do on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis, have a conversation with your partner and then PUT IT IN THE PLANNER!
A balanced mum life is a beautiful thing - a thing worth pursuing. I hope this list will help bring more balance to your life, and that you can kick the mum-guilt and enjoy your freedom!
If you are looking to create more balance and need a little help (don't we all) why not book in with me to assess where you are up to HERE!
Why don’t you join me in my group over on Facebook - Balanced Mum Life, and share with us which step you want to work on?